Welcome on the IT side of life:

“I will need your help” … “a lot” … “for just a second” … “right now” … “before work” … “after work” … “at 2am” … “on Christmas morning” … “while you are on vacation” … “during your own wedding” … “during the birth of your child” … “your child’s wedding” … “during your vacation, for your child’s wedding on Christmas morning, on a weekend”

(it’s so brilliant and poignant that I can forgive the Sophos ad pitch)